fucking god this is the THIRD TIME I'VE TRIED TO POST FUCKING ALT CODE GODDAMN YOUR ASS FUCK
now i'm PISSED OFF to couple with the lonliness & sadness & the thinking too much on EVERYTHING including something i thought i could get over easily. i want to get on a plane & just go somewhere. right now.
"calm" playlist (typing this bitch up is what keeps fucking navigating me away from the goddamn page what's the point of autosave if it DOESN'T SAVE YOUR FUCKING DRAFT by the time this works i'll have the list memorized)
1)Candyland-- CocoRosie 2)Slow Me Down-- Emmy Rossum 3)Shiaull Ersooyl--? 4)Arrane Ny Niee--? 5)Trees Lay By-- Josephine Foster 6)Monday's Rain-- The Clientele 7)Haunted Melody-- " 8)Lamplight-- " 9)One the Death of the Waters-- Shearwater 10)The Hunter's Star-- " 11)Return to Me-- October Project 12)Heart of Chambers-- Beach House 13)Rose-Red-- Woodland 14)Wild Child-- Enya 15)One By One-- " 16)May It Be-- " 17)Song of Nimrodel-- The Tolkien Ensemble 18)Gabriel-- Lamb 19)Beautiful Girl-- Poe 20)The Call-- Regina Spektor 21)Lullabye for a Stormy Night-- Vienna Teng 22)Shine-- " 23)Bonny Portmore-- Loreena McKennitt 24)The Lady of Shalott-- " 25)Temptasyon-- Mediæval Bæbes 26)Canon-- Johann Pachelbel 27)Last Night, Good Night (duet)-- Vocaloid song 28)Karenai Hana-- Shimokawa Mikuni 29)Istudemo Nando demo (Always With Me)-- sung by Kimura Yumi (composer: Hisaishi Joe) 30)At the Beginning-- Anastasia soundtrack 31)Fireflies-- Owl City 32)Allegria-- Cirque du Soleil
"sad" playlist 1)The Perfect Ending-- Straylight Run 2)Any Other World-- Mika 3)Speeding Cars-- Imogen Heap 4)Colorblind-- Counting Crows 5)Makka na Ito-- Plastic Tree 6)Field Below-- Regina Spektor 7)Chemo Limo-- " 8)Ode to My Family-- The Cranberries 9)Empty-- " 10)Wall of Silence-- October Project 11)Pilgrim-- Enya 12)The Godfather: Part II-- Harry and the Potters 13)The Legacy of Odio-- In This Moment 14)Carry Your Cross and I'll Carry Mine-- Tiamat 15)Eva-- Nightwish 16)Nemo-- " 17)Frutto del Buio-- Blind Guardian 18)Amity (live)-- The Gathering 19)Adagio-- att. to Tomaso Albinoni
"fuck you" playlist 1)Curse of Fëanor-- Blind Guardian 2)Leader of the Rats-- Arch Enemy 3)We Will Rise (live)-- " 4)Bye Bye Beautiful-- Nightwish 5)Stick it to Dolores-- Harry and the Potters 6)(never) Do What You're Told-- The Remus Lupins 7)Fat Fatty Fuckin' Pigs-- The Underneath
and then i had one for October & there's one for Hetalia, which is shorter than it should be. it's only got england's & america's Maru Kaite Chikyuu on there, & both of england's character songs. i never go on the lj comm to see if anybody else's has come out, orto go back through the tags to get any more. & i never listen to "einsamkeit" anymore; ffff gomenne, doitsu. that would fit on the "sad" playlist or something; a hurr hurrrrrr.
and now it's almost 5 am. thursday night i actually fell asleep at 10, woke up at 3 for a second, then fell back to sleep until 5:30-ish. it was unprecedented.
and so now here i am, sleeping in till almost 2 pm on saturday & then staying up till 5 am sunday morning. but i had this stupid idea to do a sketchbook of drawings before i went to sleep, so i have to do that before i go & keel over. & they're self-portraits, too; why; i don't even like self-portraits. i hate looking at my fucking face. maybe that's why. that makes no sense, probably. orz
meanwhile, we set stuff on fire at the senator yesterday & it got really terrifying at one point. like as in, excuse me while i have visions of the place going up in flames as Gayle dropped the bowl to stamp out the fire. i took pictures & put them on facebook. here's one
...going downstairs, just asked mother if we were doing anything interesting today. her mouth was full, so she looked like some sort of gerbil or something & she shook her head & i was like, why, & she shrugged. i just said it was lame. because it is. extremely lame. i'm tired of being stuck in this house because i can't drive & i don't have any friends around who do. i don't have any friends around period. but i'm sick of being stuck here & never having adventures & shit & doing the things you're told you're supposed to do via quotes from (sometimes dead) famous people (like Mark Twain) & i'm jealous of people who are actually out there living. i don't like this. i don't like life. i hate this, i hate it ALL. goddammit.
actually had an interesting dream yesterday that i remembered & wrote down a quicky kind of outline about & it didn't do too many weird things. it had a plot & characters, actually, & i knew things that were plot points & stuff, like the fact the protagonist had pretzel sticks would get her in trouble because she wasn't supposed to have pretzels.
i need to stop refreshing facebook & sleep. ooo anastasia sooong. i want that movie on dvd or smthg. oh hey something else i can put on my wish list. it is absurdly difficult to think of a christmas/birthday wishlist, & i get aggravated when people bug me about it
i've put on "america &/or england's character CD"
decipher THAT ohohohohoho <-sounds more like france oh god wat
i clearly need sleep & will regret this post in the morning.